Rebecca Dawes: Wearing a life jacket, and singing in Marks and Spencer

I recently found myself singing down the aisles of Marks and Spencer. As I browsed the shelves, I suddenly realised I was subjecting those around me to a very out of tune melody…but more importantly, it had been some considerable time since I felt that relaxed and free to just be me. 
So, what had prompted this spontaneous act? 

I was visiting the store during a break from the Windsor Leadership Programme, having stepped away for a moment of reflection, something that is prompted throughout the course and provides valuable headspace to consider everything you have shared, discussed, and heard from your fellow peers. 

It is remarkable course. It brings together individuals from across society, many of whom you would otherwise not of had the privilege to meet. I was surrounded by inspiring minds from the military, HM Prison service, HMRC, legal and financial organisations, charities and churches, to name but a few. And yet, despite our different careers, within a few hours, we had become connected through the sharing of our challenges, successes and a real desire to support each other to become the very best leaders we can be, now, and in the future.

And that really is the essence of the programme – it was not about “experts” speaking at us, nor reading PowerPoint slides – in fact there were no slides, nor was it about lots of techniques, tools and leadership models. It was about collectively listening, talking and using our life experiences to give guidance, reassurance, or simply to talk through the options. 

There is a facilitator, Nigel, who did a brilliant job of teasing out the stories, encouraging conversations and reminding us to pause, when appropriate to do so. There are syndicates, where you can be more open and discuss, in confidence, aspects impacting your leadership – at home, in the work place and within society – and there are syndicate facilities, Brian, Mary and Karl, who know when to push you a little harder but also when to sit back and let the group take the lead. 

This is known by graduates as “The Windsor Way”. 

The turning point for me came on the second day of the programme. Every individual is asked to share with the full group an experience that has challenged their leadership. I was the second person to speak, and it was easily one of the most nerve-wracking things I have ever done. The story I told was still raw – it demonstrated poor leadership from an individual who I had once so highly regarded and who didn’t have all facts but decided to negatively make references about me, my family and my career. Most importantly, it came at a time when I had faced the un-imaginable loss of my Mum, with no regard or compassion for the impact this would have.

When I finished sharing, I was astounded by the reflections and comments from the group. They were positive, supportive but more importantly constructively. They challenged me to think how I could handle the situation and ensure the facts were correct. Encouraged me to speak to the individual, express how their actions made me feel and the impact to my family and career. And it reminded me that leadership is not always going to be glossy and joyful, it is how you handle the difficult times and who you surround yourself with, that result in strong and resilient leadership. 
One of the group used the analogy that to be at your best, you need to wear your own life jacket before you can effectively help others. Before the Windsor Leadership Programme, my instinct was leadership was about others first, and me second.

In October, aptly on the day of my Mum’s birthday, I completed the programme with a new sense of understanding of leadership. I will always value others, but I now fully appreciate that to be the very best leader I can be, I need to have a greater value on my own time too. 

My heartfelt thanks go to the Farmers Club Charitable Trust who very kindly funded my place on the programme, a number of the trustees who have championed me, and my wonderful family and JCM team, who gave me the space and support to really make the most of the opportunity.